


First Get Hurt ; Then Feel Sorry

by FrozenHearts



Category: Inside Out (2015), Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Episode: s05e01 The Dark Swan, F/M, Gen, Minor Character Death, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 20:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5262221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrozenHearts/pseuds/FrozenHearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma Swan goes a little too far in her own mind on her quest to find Merlin. Her family- most of all her true love- is appalled at the lengths she goes to to get closer in her journey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Get Hurt ; Then Feel Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> So I loved Inside Out (saw it like, three times!) and I thought this would be a interesting foray into what Emma was probably thinking of, and how I could expand her interactions with Rumplestiltskin, who was kind of like a hallucination because no one else could see him.
> 
> This I kind of put together last minute, so I will be editing it because it could be so much better in my opinion, but for now I hope you like it!

Emma had the heart in her hand. The organ pulsed a violent scarlet, the outer skin vibrating. She could feel it, the way the blood flowed, how it contracted and squeezed. Small veins created intricate bumps just under the surface, and Emma could feel them if she twitched her index finger slightly. That blood that she felt… it was entrancing. Emma knew she could do it in just one squeeze. End Merida’s life just like that.

  “So why don’t you?”

  Emma shot a sidelong glance to her left and saw him, leaning casually against a tree.  His brown hair was scraggly around his face, his skin glittering an eerie gold if he moved just right. Emma turned her attention back to the heart. It was so bright and warm. The wisp was in Merida’s possession. One squeeze and it was hers, she could find Merlin with it; once she did she could get rid of the Darkness.

  But was it worth it? All this just for one little blue ball of light?

 “Go on,” Rumplestiltskin goaded, “do it.” Grimacing, Emma held the heart taut between her fingers. Her nails dug into the surface, and Merida gasped as a thin trickle of blood escaped. Emma watched as it slid down her finger, staining a spot on her white dress.

  “Ugh, gross! That’s gonna take forever to get out!”

  Emma furrowed her brow. That didn’t sound like Rumplestiltskin. Merida reflected her confusion, pursing her lips as she doubled over. Emma’s grip on the heart was shaking as a second voice came again.

  “Is that blood? Please tell me that isn’t blood!”

  Emma frowned. Now she knew that definitely wasn’t Rumplestiltskin anymore. Heart still in her hand, she swiveled her head around, trees blurring slightly at the edge of her peripheral vision. She could see a few people in the distance, between the stones if she squinted.

  “Trust me, if anything, that stain will look totally brown-”

  “Guys! Happy thoughts! Think of it as a new design?”

 Emma gasped as she whirled away from Merida, nearly dropping the heart. Why was there a new voice? She couldn’t even handle Rumplestiltskin, let alone two other weirdos! But there they were. She saw them, jumping around near Rumplestiltskin. He, however, looked just as confused as she was. Two were women, and one was a man. The man- well, really all three- seemed to have some sort of skin condition, making them look like they came straight off a rainbow; the two women were yellow and green, the man purple. The green woman was shorter than her friend, with a haughty look about her as she dusted off a pale green dress, fixing a pink scarf.

  “Ugh, Joy, this isn’t arts and crafts,” she whined, fluffing up shirt green hair. The other woman- Joy- seemed to shine like a lightbulb, her blue hair sticking up like a candle wick atop her head.

  “Come on, Disgust!” she exclaimed, “We’re out in the woods! It’ll be like summer camp!” Rumplestiltskin grinned, and suddenly, Emma forgot about the strange people. She wasn’t here to talk to them. She was here to get the wisp. Emma looked down at Merida’s heart. It was pulsating rapidly; a sign of fear, she supposed. A huff of breath escaped her pursed lips as she stood there, contemplating. Merida was wheezing, the woman now on her knees and clutching her stomach.

   “I don’t think we should do this, guys!” the man cried, forcing Emma’s attention once again on him. His skin was a lavender color, with a long nose framed in between bugged out eyes. His limbs were lanky, and he seemed to tremble with each syllable.

   Merida was trembling as she sat on the ground.

   “W-Who are you?” Emma stammered, mustering up her courage. Rumplestiltskin blinked, as if registering ehr for the first time.

   “You know me, dearie-”

   “I’m not talkign to you!” Emma’s voice was an octave higher than she’d have liked as she jabbed a finger at the three newcomers, “Them! Who are they?!” Before the green girl could answer, the woman called Joy flapped her hands wildly.

  “Oh! Oh! I’m Joy!” she cried, “And this is my friend Disgust- I know, she’s such a fun girl! And this here is Fear, and….” Joy pouted as she glanced around, peering behind Rumplestiltskin and the tree, “Have you seen Sadness anywhere?”

   “Don’t mind me,” a sullen voice came from behind, and Emma spun to find a short, round woman kneeling besides Merida, watching forlornly as the redhead gasped and wheezed. The people Emma had seen from afar were at th edge of the stones- Killian and her family. They were watching, Killian’s eyes pleading with her as he held a hand out. His silver rings glinted in the light.

  “Emma, love,” was all Killan said.

  “Ugh, leather over leather?” Disgust spat, “Atrocious! That’s like wearing an all-denim dress!”

  “Oooh! Maybe it’s Halloween?” came Joy’s hopeful reply.

 Rumplestiltskin was still there, surveying the newcomers with an odd interest. They hadn’t taken notice of him, just babbling nonsense over one another until they got louder and louder, Joy was practically singing at the top of her lungs while this Sadness person wallowed pitifully next to Merida.

   “It would be sad if she were to die,” said the blue-skinned woman, burrowing into her heavy white turtleneck.

   “I-I don’t think you’d be able to live with that, right?!” Fear followed immediately, wide-eyes trained on her.

   Emma faltered, “What?”

   “To kill her. She was nothing but nice to you. Wouldn’t it be scary? If you killed her?”

   “Not to mention all that blood,” Disgust added, “All over your skin.”

   Emma found herself shaking as she glared at the heart in her hand. It would be so easy. To get the wisp…. all she had to do was squeeze. Emma kept telling herself that, a mantra running circles in her brain. Rumplestiltskin surely had no qualms with the idea.

  “Emma,” Killian broke through, and she found herself eye to eye with him. He was glowering, wiggling his fingers expectantly, “Give Merida back her heart.”

   “Hearts? Is it Valentine’s Day?” Joy clapped her hands excitedly, and Emma gave her an incredulous look.

   “He’s talking about the thing in her hand, Joy.”

   “Oh, right-”

   “Are you really gonna kill her?” Sadness chimed in.

   Emma found a headache creeping into her temples. The red appendage she held seemed to suddenly burn, her hands squeezing a tiny bit more. Merida cried out in agony, bent over until Emma was sure her forehead touched the forest floor.

  “The wisp…” Emma whispered, “I need it…”

  “That blue thing?” Fear cackled, his voice piercing, “What if it doesn’t do what she says it does?!”

  “Not to mention that the blood wouldn’t get out of your clothes either,” Disgust shrugged. Emma felt a sheen of sweat on her forehead and she looked towards Rumplestiltskin. His skin had taken on a glittery texture as he stepped in the sun, inspecting his nails as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

   “What do I do?” Emma breathed. Her chest heaved as she panted- when had she decided to run a marathon? Rumplestiltkin merely jerked his chin towards the others.

   “They have their points, you know,” he said. Emma shook her head.

   “But I don’t want to give up this chance! I can use the wisp to find Merlin, to-”

   “Emma, who are you talking to?” Regina’s loud demand made Emma’s head spin. She pointed to the five others, finger crooked as she struggled to contain her composure.

   “Y-You don’t see them?”

   “Emma,” Mary Margaret stepped forward, “There’s no one there.”

   “But they’re right there.” Emma was adamant.

   “Emma, there isn’t anyone there. Now please, give back the heart-”

   “If you do that, you might not get this chance again,” Fear jolted into her vision like a freight train derailed, his thin hair sticking up in all directions as he went to pull, “What if you can never find another wisp?!”

   “Not to mention that she’d die,” said Sadness, “that’s sadder than... “ she took a minute to think before shaking her head, “No. That’d be pretty sad.”

    Emma curled her lip. They didn’t make her choices. She didn’t even know who they were. No one else could even see them. So who were they to question her choices? Her fingers dug into the heart, and Merida coughed, spattering the leaves red. She could vaguely hear her family yelling at her, the four strangers making an unecessary amount of noise. She needed to do this.

   “It’s the only way,” she murmured.

   “Ew! You got stuff all over her face!” Disgust squealed, pointing to Merida. Emma picked u her head to look at the princess bowed at her feet as she forced herself to pick up her head. Sure enough, blood dribbled down her chin from when she had coughed, spittle and blood spewing from her mouth as she tried to form a coherent sentence, weak hands crawling across the dirt towards the hem of her dress.

   “Leather boy- is he your boyfriend?” Disgust asked suddenly, “Because he might not want to be with you anymore after this. Blood is gross.”

    Emma kept her eyes glued to Merida’s pleading face. They were toying with her. Nothing more. She had to do it.

    “What if he leaves?!” Fear wailed, succeeding in actually tearing his hair out. Clumps fell from his hands as he wiped his palms on his brown trousers, “No happy ending then! What are you gonna do?!”

    “She could be sent to jail,” Sadness said monotonously.

     Emma bit her lip, still locked in a staring contest with Merida. She couldn’t risk looking at the pirate. It was true, Killian might leave her after she killed Merida, but they had true love on their side. True love meant he would never leave her. Killian would love Emma no matter what, and so far that mantra had kept their relationship going.

    “So he won’t care if I kill her. He’ll still love me.”

    Merida’s eyes widened as Emma proceeded to crush the heart. Body writhing, Merida slumped forward, crimson flowing from her lips like water spouting from a fountain. Emma watched as it stained her green dress, making leaves stick to the fabric. The princesses’ pale skin was colored scarlet, as she struggled to keep her mouth closed.

    “Emma, what did you do?!”

    Emma wasn’t sure who was screaming at her. She just watched Merida’s throat bob as she made feeble attempts to drink her own blood, keep it inside. Weakly, she scooped puddles of it off the ground in an attempt to bring it to her lips.

    Regina and David rushed to her side, helping her sit up as she choked. Blood seeped onto David’s clothes as he pulled her up, holding her against him, desparately pleading, “Emma, stop! You need to sto-”

   “Your family might kick you out!” Fear supplied a new thought, “Henry might disown you-”

   “it’ll be on your conscience forever….”

   “Orange jumpsuits are really unflattering-”

   “You’ll have all the privacy in the world in jail! You can sing as loud as you want all the time-”

   Emma glared at the newcomers, blocking out her families yelling. They were so annoying! Why wouldn’t they leave? Just disappear? Shut up and-

    “Shut up! Just shut up!”

    

\------------------------------------------

 

      Killian watched as Emma screeched at empty air, clutching Merida’s heart for dear life. The princess was basically dead, and it was saddening to watch Prince Charming and the Evil Queen work together to save someone. But she had lost too much blood, and he knew. Merida was already gone.

    Emma was still yelling, her face turning redder with each minute until she looked like a tea kettle, whistling incessantly. Blood spattered her white dress, her blond hair mussed and frayed by the wind that had begun to pick up.

   Shit, Killian thought, her magic is getting out of control-

  “He’ll still love me!” Emma cried, “It’s my happy ending! Our future!”

   There was no one there. Emma was yelling at empty space. But Killian knew who she was talking about. The plans they had made, the house he and Henry had found for her. Killian thought it would be simple- find Merlin and get him to take away the Darkness.

   Obviously, it was going to be a lot harder if she was seeing things that didn’t exist.

   “Killian we have to stop her!” Regina hissed, hands frantically searching for a pulse on Merida’s throat. Killian glared at the body. Of course, Emma had to come across someone in her current state, and of course, they underestimated her powers. Mary Margaret was holding Henry close, keeping him as far away from the body as possible. The kid was curiously eyeing his grandfather as he attempted CPR, the Heimlich Maneuver, anything ot get her to breathe.

   Nothing worked.

   Her blood stained everything, it seemed. The substance made David’s black trousers even darker, Regina’s red blouse an even brighter venomous red. Her chest heaved as she gurgled, eyes wide with terror as this man held her. This absolute stranger held her as she was dying.

   And it was all Emma’s fault.

  Well, if he actually thought about it, it was the Darkness.

  If the Darkness made his true love murder people and see strange things, he wasn’t sure what to do.

  “Hey! Jolly Roger!” Regina snapped at him, shoving her hands in his face. They were dripping red, a deep, nasty color. It made his stomach churn, just thinking about it. That Emma killed the poor girl.

  “You need to stop Donnie Darko over there before she does this again!” Regina’s growl broke through his thoughts and he blinked, as if seeing her for the first time.The Evil Queen was livid, her red lips snarling as she jabbed a finger at Emma. The woman was screeching now, her voice echoing through the forest, upsetting a murder of crows. They flew in formation as they passed over the group, no doubt intrigued by the scent of blood. Merida had gone completely still in David's arms.

    Everything was red.

    Emma had ceased yelling. A strained silence hung over the clearing, and Killian could feel Emma's eyes boring into his back. The crows cawed, on eof them landing amongst Merida's nest of curls. Killian watched as David shooed it away, doing his best to wipe her blood off his hands. Mary Mary Margaret stood with Henry, who had paled considerably, eyeing his mother with a wariness that made Killian's stomach clench.

    "Killian?"

    The pirate tensed his shoulders. Emma sounded so small. A child who lost their parent in the crowd. She didn't sound like a grown woman who had just brutally murdered someone. She didn't sound like a woman posessed by Dark Magic.

     She sounded lost. Scared. Alone.

     "Killian?" Emma called again, and heaving his chest, he turned around. Emma looked as white as her dress. He could see the splotches of red, but he ignored them, focusing on her face. Her cheeks were red, her blond hair plastered to her skin with sweat. Her eyes- her beautiful green eyes, oh lord- were bloodshot, brimmed with tears. Trembling, she held her hands out to him, palms facing skyward.

     Her skin was stained crimson. Instinctively, Killian recoiled, and Emma clutched her hands to her chest.

     "Wh-what did I do....?" Emma warbled, braving a step forward.

     "Emma, love-" Killian huffed, running a hand through his hair. One of his silver rings got snagged in a knot, and he slipped his finger free, leaving the jewelry to hang from his black tresses. Before he could finish, Regina was in front of him, the dagger thrust forward as she demanded coldly, "Emma, stay back." Killian forced himself not to say anything as Emma nodded, shrinking even further away. Her gaze flitted between the people with her- and then she noticed David, cradling Merida's dead body.

     Shit.

     "I-I did that?" Emma dared to ask, lower lip quivering as she looked at Killian, the blood on her hands, "I-I-"

     "Emma, we're gonna help you-" Killian tried, leaves crunching underfoot as he approached her. But Emma was having none of it, scurrying back until she pressed herself against one of the tall stone slabs.

     "Stay away!"

     "Emma, please-"

     "Killian, I-I can't," Emma cried, "What if I do that to you next? Or Henry?"

     Killian peered over his shoulder to glance at the kid. Mary Margaret was holding onto him, her knuckles turning white. No doubt he wanted to comfort his mother. But how? The woman was a wreck, and she had dark magic. A wreck with dark magic was not a good combination, and everyone knew it. Emma's sobs began to fill the clearing, as a brisk wind picked up, scattering dead leaves on the ground.

     "I'm sorry to have to do this, Emma," Regina cleared her throat, "but-"

     Emma stood up, slow and careful, gathering her skirts around her legs. Her knees were buckling, and Killian doubted she'd be able to stand very long, pass out from shock maybe. Licking her lips, Emma nodded, sending a forlorn look the pirate's way.

     "I love you, Killian," her voice was barely a whisper, the wind carrying it to his ears, caressing his cheek as she reiterated her confession to Henry.

     He allowed himself to shed a tear as his true love disappeared in a cloud of black smoke, turning back to help David dig a grave for Merida.

**Author's Note:**

> So now that I've gone through this and fixed it, what do you guys think?


End file.
